


Idea Vomit

by be_the_trash



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Youtube RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angry Nico di Angelo, Antisepticeye Sean McLoughlin, Anxiety, Blind Character, Car Accidents, Crossover, Darkiplier Mark Fischbach, Domestic Violence, Family Drama, Family Issues, Hurt Nico di Angelo, Hurt Percy Jackson, Hurt Sean McLoughlin, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nico di Angelo Needs a Hug, Nico-centric, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Character - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Mark Fischbach, Recovery, Sean McLoughlin Needs a Hug, Seán lives in Ireland don't @me, Tartarus Causes Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_the_trash/pseuds/be_the_trash
Summary: Hey there. This will be a bunch of unconnected ideas of mine that I am currently working on. I will only be posting fics I am currently working on, and it will only be the first chapter of each idea, no matter how many chapters I have written. We'll see if I stick to that whole "only one chapter" thing, but that's my goal.I just wanted to get some ideas thrown out there as well as see what the reception to them would be. Thanks so much.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Sean McLoughlin, Sean McLoughlin/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 14





	1. Info

Hey y'all, so I thought I'd make a fic where I could post the first chapter of a bunch of ideas that I have rolling around in my head. Mostly it will be from the Seán/Mark fandom, or crossovers involving Percy Jackson.

Occasionally there might be another fandom (TØP is really the only other one I write) thrown in there, but it's mostly going to be those two.

Tags will be added for each chapter/idea that is added, and the notes will be an explanation of where I plan to take the story, as well as the tags that apply to that story. And just so y'all know, I won't be proofreading any of them for spelling or grammar bc it's a process to get it to through something that will check it for me. I do everything in probably the most complicated way possible, so y'welcome.

I'm very good at coming up with ideas; I'm very shit at following through. I'm hoping this might provide a little motivation for me.

If I post a chapter for an idea, please do not expect me to begin posting the story anytime soon. After failing an update schedule on multiple stories, I've decided it would be better for me to either finish, or have about one chapter left to write before I start posting. That also gives me time to look over them multiple times.

If one of the ideas I've posted here is finished and becomes posted as its own story, I will update this and inform y'all of the title. Hopefully, I will post my first idea within the week. I just have to decide which one haha.

I have quite a few stories already started, some more finished and original than others. I go through random spurts of wanting to write every story idea I'm working on for a few weeks/months, then do the same with finding zero creativity inside of me.

Anyway, welcome to my 'fic' where I'm basically yelling into the void. I don't even care if no one reads this, it gives me the feeling that I'm doing something, and it gets these ideas that I am spending hours each day (sporadically spaced out days) working on out into the world. That in itself will help with motivation.

I beg of thee, o one person who is reading this, to give me feedback if you can/want. Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for any of them, feel free to recommend tags you think would apply, or warnings that may need to be posted. I always choose "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings" but I will include a warning before sensitive chapters (like in one I have a rape scene. I'm not gonna tag it, but there will be plenty of warnings and a summary at the end of said chapter so the people who don't want to read it can still enjoy my story. I'm looking for things like that)
> 
> Even if you aren't sure, PLEASE comment.


	2. First Story Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! So this is actually my most recent Idea, but I am already a considerable way through it. Unfortunately, I have hit about where I had looked ahead plot-wise, so idk what to do next. 
> 
> Here are the tags that apply-  
> Seán McLoughlin/Original Male Character  
> Seán McLoughlin/Mark Fischbach  
> Abuse  
> Domestic Violence  
> Original Male Character  
> Hurt Seán  
> Protective Mark  
> Seán lives in Ireland don't @ me  
> Seán needs a hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story Summary (Not the summary I will use, more like an overview. Yes, it's shit, I haven't really put much thought into it.)-  
> Jack has an abusive boyfriend, but he hides it very well. Mark and Robin get suspicious, however, and Mark decides to do something about it.
> 
> This chapter length is not representative of my usual chapter length. They are usually shorter, but for some reason this story has longer chapters. Don't ask, I don't know.
> 
> I am also probably not going to start the fic with this beginning. There will probably be a better intro with a little bit of backstory thrown in, but also I have backstory already in the first five chapters, so since I started with that it might seem repetitive. Idk. If y'all have a feeling either way, let me know.

"Hey, babe?" Jack asked nervously.

"What?" Connor said, not looking up.

"Would you mind doing a video with me? I was thinking we co-"

Connor still didn't look up, "Yeah sure. I don't really care what it is. Just make sure you don't ask me while I'm busy."

Jack smiled, "Of course not! Um, you're not busy later, right? You're hanging out with your friends tomorrow?"

Connor sighed, "I guess not. Let's just do it now. Get it over with."

Jack smiled again, "Ah, okay! I, um. I still have to set it up, but I can do it quickly!"

Connor nodded, "Yeah, sure. Go do that."

Jack nodded and hurried away. He pulled his lights out from behind his standing desk and set up two chairs, side by side. He had been planning on doing the boyfriend-girlfriend tag, obviously turned into the boyfriend-boyfriend tag, but he was starting to worry that Connor wouldn't enjoy making that video.

 _Maybe I shouldn't have asked him,_ he worried. _He doesn't really like filming videos with me. He doesn't like when I'm loud, and that's basically my entire personality on my channel._

Jack almost didn't even realize that it used to be his real personality, but that it had slowly begun changing after he met Connor. When he did have this realization, he told himself that it was a change for the better. He was annoying before, but now he was more tolerable, right?

Jack hadn't quite finished setting up when Connor came in. Seeing the beer in the other man's hand, Jack's nose wrinkled imperceptibly, but he didn't say anything. He tried to speed up, but he was going pretty much as fast as he could.

Jack checked to make sure, then turned to Connor, "The camera is rolling. Ready?"

Connor shrugged, taking a swig of beer, "Sure, sweetie. What are we doing?"

Jack nervously messed with his fingers, "Um, well there's this tag on YouTube, and we're doing the boyfriend-boyfriend version instead of the boyfriend-girlfriend version."

Connors expression didn't change from boredom, "Okay. We sitting down?"

He didn't wait for an answer as he moved to sit on one of the chairs, but Jack responded with a, "Yes," anyway.

Jack took the other chair and explained the tag to Connor, who just nodded to what he was saying. He didn't seem happy that it was like a test, but Jack tried to convince him it was all light hearted. He knew that Connor was very competitive, so he didn't want to make him feel bad if he didn't get very many questions right.

After he explained, he did his intro, and Connor's personality switched into what Jack had dubbed his "camera character". Jack didn't entirely mind the change, after all Connor was much nicer on camera, usually, but it sometimes threw him off.

He started on the first question, "Where did we meet?"

Connor narrowed his eyes, thinking, "Um... we met through Ashley, right? Were we... at her house? Or did we go out somewhere?"

Jack smiled, immediately realizing this was a bad idea, "Yeah, we met at her house. She was throwing a party."

Connor nodded, "Right, of course. I must have been drunk." He started laughing and Jack joined in, slightly uncomfortable. His least favorite part about Connor was how much he drank. He knew it was a cliche for Irish people to be serious drinkers, but he had never met an Irishman who loved liquor as much as Connor did.

Connor frowned and suddenly asked, "What happened to Ashley? Why'd we stop being friends again?"

"Um..." Jack nervously started, "She didn't really like our relationship..."

Connor laughed, "Right, right, she didn't think I treated you well. Oh well, she stopped talking to you too, so I don't know why she pretended."

Jack felt his stomach sink a little at his friend being insulted. Sure, he hadn't spoken to her in a while, but they had still been friends when she moved away.

Dispite the feeling in his stomach, Jack moved onto the next question, "Where was our first date?"

Connor's face showed that he had no idea, "Um, I think we went out to dinner, right? Or was that the second date?"

Not wanting to correct him and tell him that the restaurant had been their third date, Jack just nodded, "Yeah, we went out a cute little restaurant a little ways from here."

Connor nodded, "Right, right. I remember. They had good food."

Jack tried not to show how much it hurt him tht he had forgotten, "Yeah. I forget what I had, but I remember we went back a few times after that."

Forcing himself to smile, Jack asked the next question, "What was your first impression of me?"

Connor frowned, "Hmm, let me think." He looked at Jack and Jack could feel the judgement. His heart sank even lower.

Connor shrugged, "I mean, I guess I thought you were loud and annoying."

Jack forced a smile and a chuckle, "Yep, that's me. Loud, screaming Irishman."

Connor nodded, "Yeah, but you mellowed out after a while, so you weren't as annoying after that."

Jack nodded, "Right. I guess I grew up." The words tasted funny in his mouth, but Connor seemed happy with them.

"That's right! I guess I didn't even realize that's what it was."

Jack nodded, the heavy feeling in his stomach making itself known again, "Right. Anyway, next question. How long have we been together?"

Connor's eyebrows came together, and he rubbed his forehead, thinking, "Oh boy... Too long? Haha." He started laughing and Jack frowned, but immediately plastered a smile over it, forcing out a laugh.

After a few moments, Connor glanced at him and said, "Two years? Three? You know, I'm not sure with rounding."

Jack bit his lip, and nodded, "Yeah it's between those. Two years and seven months."

Connor frowned, "Hmm, so three years works then?"

Jack nodded and Connor sighed, "Then don't correct me if I'm right. It's close enough, okay?"

Jack could hear the annoyance in his voice, so he just nodded, "Right, I'm sorry. I just wanted the viewers to know the more-"

"I don't care about them," Connor said, brushing him off, "Just don't correct me. I don't like it."

Jack nodded again, "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Connor nodded, satisfied, "Good. What's the next question?"

Jack cleared his throat, "Do we have a tradition?"

Connor thought for a minute, then shrugged, "I guess we don't, do we?"

The realization that they didn't have a tradition made Jack kind of sad, "Right, we don't. At least, not yet. We could always start one!"

Connor shrugged, "Meh, I guess we could. But what could be so great that we'd want to do it every year? Or more often." He made a face at that.

Jack shrugged, a little hurt, "Right. I mean, there always could be something that we don't know about yet."

Connor snorted, "Yeah right.

Jack fought the frown that wanted to make its way onto his face, and moved to the next question, "What was the first thing you noticed about me?"

Connor made a face, "Didn't you already ask this question?"

Jack glanced down at the paper and shook his head, "No, but it is very similar. The first one was what your first impression was, this one is-"

Connor cut him off, "Alright, I get it. Don't patronize me. I'm pretty sure it's the same answer anyway. Loud, annoying. I guess I also noticed that you were packing a few more pounds that you've since lost."

Jack bit his lip and made a mental note to ask his editor to cut this part out. Not wanting to respond to what felt like personal attacks (though he told himself he was being sensitive), Jack moved on once again, "What do we argue about the most?"

Connor snorted, "Oh that's a hard one. You're always doing something or other." Jack stayed silent as he thought, "I guess we fight over your YouTube the most, right? That's were most of our disagreements come from."

Jack nodded, "That sounds right."

Connor nodded to himself, "Yeah, like if we fight about how loud you are, you're only ever really loud for YouTube now. Oh, or if I want to hang out, but you're busy with YouTube things. Or when you travel- I don't like you traveling."

Jack nodded, "Right, I know." He smiled at the camera and joked, "We can't stand being apart!"

Connor laughed, "Yeah right. I just don't trust you on your own."

Jack bit his tongue and briefly closed his eyes. Deciding to move on before he actually started crying, Jack asked, "Who wears the pants in the relationship?"

Connor laughed again, "I think that one's pretty obvious. I do."

Jack fought with himself for a moment before interjecting, "Well, I mean. I do make most of the money. Plus, I usually take care of a lot of the chores-"

Connor waved his hand around, "Yeah, yeah. I don't need your money, and chores are women's work."

 _Really, don't need my money? You spend my money almost as fast as I make it. Jack_ struggled to keep his mouth shut, but couldn't help saying, "Well, you do spend quite a bit of money. Not that there's anything wrong with-"

Jack didn't see his fist until it was too late. Jack's head snapped back, and his hands came up to cup his chin. His eyes started watering, and immediately he cursed himself, _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You shouldn't have opened your mouth. Don't cry, don't cry._

Jack desperately tried to blink the tears away as Connor glared at him, "I spend what I need to. I don't need your money. The reason I wear the pants is because I'm the man. I protect you."

Jack nodded, finally having managed to blink the tears away. He pulled his hands down and looked at the ground, "Right. You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Connor groaned, "God, shut up. You apologize too much."

Jack bit back another apology and glanced down at the questions, "Do you want to move onto the next question?"

Connor sighed, "If we have to." He made a 'go on' gesture.

Jack sighed, but asked, "What is one talent I have?"

Connor looked surprised, "Do you have a talent?"

Jack looked down, "Well, I mean. I used to be a drummer-"

Connor scoffed, "That's not a talent. You have to be good for that to be a talent."

Jack nodded, "You're right, I'm not very good at drumming, huh?" He laughed sheepishly, "I guess it's more of a hobby."

Connor rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. Jack picked at the paper for a minute before asking the next question, "What is my eye color?"

Jack covered his eyes jokingly, but they were swatted away. He saw Connor stare at his eyes for a second before turning back to the camera, "Blue, obviously."

Jack forced a smile, the pit in his stomach growing once more, "Right, of course you knew that!"

Connor glared at him, "What does that mean?" He snapped.

Jack swallowed, quickly trying to calm him, "Nothing! I was just saying that it's something you would obviously know."

Connor huffed, "Sure. Next question."

Jack smiled, "Right. Um, what is something I do that you wish I didn't?"

Connor's eyebrows raised, "God, is there anything I don't wish you didn't do?"

Not really feeling like hearing the list, Jack cut him off, "Right, haha. I'm pretty annoying sometimes."

"Don't cut me off."

Jack bit his lip and shrank back in his seat, "Right. I'm sorry."

Connor rolled his eyes, "And stop fucking apologizing. Just don't do it."

Jack nodded, "Sor- um... Right. I- I'll do better."

Another eye roll, "Sure you will. You haven't done anything right since we met."

Jack sighed and stared at the floor. He spaced out as Connor started ranting about all the things he didn't like about Jack, and was startled out of his stupor with a swipe to the head, "Hey! Don't ignore me."

Jack jerked his head up, "I wasn't ignoring you! I'm sorry I just, I got distracted and-"

Another swipe to the head and Jack felt dizzy, "What the fuck did I say about apologizing."

Dazed, Jack reached up to his head and mumbled, "Don't apologize, just don't do it."

"Exactly. Jesus Christ, you are seriously a piece of work... Hey!" Connor snapped his fingers in front of Jack's face, "You're listening, right?"

Jack's head was still spinning. He tried to focus, "Right. I am. I'm listening. I'm sorry, my head-"

Jack didn't know how he ended up on the floor, but he guess it had something to do with the throbbing in the side of his face. Connor was yelling, "Jesus, you're pathetic!" He mocked Jack's voice, "'I'm sorry, I'm sorry'. You know you're doing something wrong, so fucking fix it! Pay attention, don't correct me, stop apologizing, it's not that hard!"

Jack propped himself up on his elbows, then sat up, "I'm- I mean, you're right. I shouldn't be so annoying. I- I promise I'll try to stop. I really will."

Connor snorted, "Yeah, sure you will. Whatever. I'm done. If you can make something out of that, great. Wonderful. I'm going to go out tonight." He looked down on Jack with distaste, "I need a break from you."

Jack nodded. As Connor opened the door, Jack forced a smile, "Have a good time."

He got no response. After a few seconds, Jack heard the front door slam and he sighed, feeling guilty. He had ruined what could have been a perfectly good video.

He stood up, stumbled from the dizziness that washed over him, then went to turn off the camera. He sighed, "I guess I'll have to wipe it. I can't make a video out of this." He told no one.

Sighing again, Jack wondered if there might be enough for his to squeeze a video out of. He already had tomorrow's videos done, but he had really been looking forward to sharing more of his boyfriend with his fans.

Jack pursed his lips and started to scrub through the footage. Quickly, he cut out the parts where Connor hit him, and the entire last question, then sent it to his editor with a note that said, "If you could salvage a video out of this, that would be amazing! Please send it to me if you can. Thank you!"

As he sent the footage, he could already feel his face begin to bruise. Jack groaned in annoyance. It was so difficult to cover facial bruises, he was going to have to pull out the make up again.

Jack bit the inside of his cheek and decided to do it later. He wasn't feeling up to recording today anymore anyway. With a sigh, Jack made his way to the bathroom to check his face.

A large bruise was forming along his jawline, and another on his cheekbone. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could also see a little bit of a black eye forming. He groaned and wet his hands, gently pressing them to the areas of his face with the bruising. He wondered if he should get an icepack to try to reduce how large the bruises would be, but he dismissed the idea. He didn't want Connor to think he was weak, if he ended up coming back home early.

Still feeling heavy, Jack decided that he would go to sleep early. Mostly, he just didn't want to deal with Connor when he came home, probably drunk, but he told himself that it was so he could be energized to get stuff done tomorrow.

With another sigh, Jack brushed his teeth and lay down in his bed. The room felt silent and cold, but the atmosphere wasn't really much of change from when Connor slept next to him. Pushing the thought aside, Jack closed his eyes and fell asleep.

When he woke up, Connor was asleep next to him, one arm thrown lightly over Jack's body. Jack smiled at the sight before the smell of alcohol hit him and he had to hold back a gag. Slipping out from underneath Connor's arm, Jack went to the kitchen and quickly made himself a cup of coffee. He made extra for Connor, and set out some aspirin, knowing that Connor would have a hangover. He filled a glass with water and set it next to the aspirin before he wandered into his recording room.

He checked to see if his editor had sent him back a video out of the footage from last night but he found nothing. Sighing, Jack picked up his phone only for it to immediately vibrate. Startled, Jack almost dropped his phone, but managed to catch it.

Checking the messages, Jack was surprised to see he had multiple texts from his editor. He skimmed the texts.

R: Hey, Seán, what's up with the footage you sent me?

R: Are you okay?

R: I watched the rest of it...

R: Seán, seriously. That's not normal.

Confused, Jack though back to the footage he had sent Robin. He had cut out the parts where Connor had hit him, right? So what was wrong with it?

S: What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with the footage. Did it get corrupted?

R: That's not what I'm talking about... Come one Seán. What's wrong with you and Connor?

Jack frowned. Nothing was wrong with them. What did Robin see in the video that Jack had missed?

S: Nothing is wrong with us

S: Why?

R: it's just... You don't look happy. And he looks angry. And...

R: well, he's just saying things that you shouldn't really say to your S/O

R: Plus, the fact that you cut out parts worries me

R: You never do that

Jack stared at his phone in confusion. Semi-angry, Jack texted back

S: What do you mean? What sort of things?

S: I'm fine

S: Do you think I shouldn't use the footage?

R: Well, I don't think you should use it unless you want your fans worried that Connor is abusing you

Jack sucked in a deep breath

S: Connor isn't abusing me

R: Seán...

S: What?

R: ... I guess nothing. Just, please tell me you didn't cut out footage because he hit you. Please tell me it was because you said something incredibly embarrassing, or because he asked you to.

Jack hesitated. He didn't want to lie to his friend, someone he trusted, but at the same time he knew how it would look. Connor wasn't abusive, Jack knew that. People fight in relationships, and Jack just happened to be someone who lost a lot of the fights. Besides, it wasn't like it came out of nowhere.

S: Don't worry about it Robin, okay? Connor wouldn't do that.

R: okay. Fine, I'm sorry. I believe you.

R: I still can't make a video out if the footage though

R: Sorry

S: it's okay, I didn't think there was enough anyway. I was just hoping, I guess.

Jack sighed and set his phone back down. He heard movement in the kitchen outside and glanced at his computer. He had been planning on recording before Connor woke up, but he supposed he should go check on him first.

He quietly walked into the kitchen to find Connor leaned over the sink, hands on either side. Sympathetically, Jack asked, "How are you feeling?"

Connor jumped slightly, then clutched his head. He groaned and muttered, "Oh, I feel fucking great."

Jack frowned at the sarcasm, but walked up behind him to rub his back gently, "Do you want some food before you take the aspirin?"

Connor nodded and Jack helped him to sit down. He quickly made him an omelet the way Jack knew he liked and handed him the plate along with a fork. He also poured him a cup of coffee and set the water and the aspirin a little ways away from him, "You should probably wait a few minutes after you eat to take the aspirin. Did you throw up?"

Connor groaned, "Ugh, you sound like a mother. Yeah, I threw up."

Jack bit his lip, "I'm just trying to help," he said quietly.

Connor didn't respond. Jack did his best to put on a smile and turned around to clean the kitchen. After he put away the food and cleaned the pan he had used, he turned around to head back to his recording room when Connor finally spoke up, "Thank you."

Jack turned to see downing the aspirin, his plate empty. A warm feeling in his chest, Jack grinned at him, "Of course! Let me know when you're feeling better."

Connor nodded and Jack made his way to his recording room, his feet lighter. On his way, he caught sight of his face in the bathroom mirror and he froze. _Oh, shit. I forgot I had to cover those._

Just ask he was about to consider if he should cover them now or wait until he had set up, he heard the sound of a Skype call ring from two rooms down. Jack panicked for a second, staring at himself in the mirror. He had to cover the bruises before he talked to anyone.

Feeling guilty, but promising himself he would call them back right away, Jack ducked into his bathroom and pulled out his little makeup kit. He swathed concealer over the left side of his face, covering the bruises that trailed from his jaw to his eye. He quickly blended it in, only to find that he could still barely see the bruises through the concealer.

Rummaging through his little bag, Jack found some powder and decided to put it on top for extra coverage. When he finished, he studied his face in the mirror. "Good enough," he declared.

He quickly put away his makeup and made his way back to the room. He opened Skype and saw that it had been Mark who had called him. He also had a message from Mark.

M: Hey, Robin just called me. He sounded pretty worried about you. I thought I'd call just to check in. Call me back when you can

Jack frowned. Robin had called Mark? _Was this before our conversation, or after?_ Jack wasn't sure why his friends seemed so worried all of the sudden.

Double checking his face in the reflection of his monitor, Jack pressed "Call" on Mark's icon. The icon expanded and the sound of a Skype call filtered through the room.

Mark answered it after the second ring, and Jack started with an apology, "Hey Mark, sorry I didn't make it to my room in time for your call."

Mark smiled, "Don't worry about it. How are you you?"

Jack shrugged, "I don't know. I kinda just woke up. So far though, just fine. How about you?"

Mark shrugged, "Pretty good. So, I'm sure you saw my message, right?"

Jack sighed, sagging a little, "Yeah, I did. What did Robin say?"

Mark looked uncomfortable, "Well, he just said that some of the footage you sent him worried him. He said Connor, well, that it seemed like you might not be... happy."

Jack frowned, "I am happy. I don't know what Robin thinks he saw, but honestly, I'm fine."

Mark watched him for a second, obviously not believing him, "Okay. Well, Robin just seemed really worried. He said he was worried that Connor might have hit you..."

Jack's throat closed up, feeling caught. Guiltily, he looked down. After a minute, he sighed, "I already told Robin that he wouldn't do that. Please, Mark..." Jack wasn't sure what he was asking Mark. _Please stop? Please help me?_

Mark stayed silent, obviously expecting him to continue, but Jack didn't know what to say. He slouched back in his chair and mumbled, "I don't know."

Jack didn't look up, but he could feel Mark's eyes on him. Suddenly, Jack just felt tired. Why was this happening? Why did his friends never like Connor? First Ashley, now Robin and Mark?

Without thinking about it, Jack sighed and brought his hand up to rub his face. Unfortunately, he rubbed the side with the bruises and the makeup, making him freeze when he felt it smear under his finger.

After a second and without removing his hand, Jack tilted his hand slightly and leaned his head against the hand. He could see in the monitor just how stupid he looked, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Mark looked concerned, "Are you okay, Seán?"

Jack nodded the best he could, "Yeah, I'm just tired. I, um, I think I should get going." He tried to smile, but his heart was beating too hard, "I have to film today."

Mark's look didn't change, "Oh, okay. Well, let me know if you're up for a collab. And, um..." Mark sighed heavily, "Please, just, let me know if Connor... Does anything, okay?" He looked sad, "I'm worried now."

Jack's heart beat even harder, and his chest felt tight. He didn't want to tell Mark, or Robin. He didn't want them to know how badly he would mess up, and what he deserved afterwards. They saw him through a screen. They only saw the best parts of him, not the parts that made people angry, that made them unable to be around him.

However, Jack forced himself to nod slowly, "If anything ever happens. But it won't."

Mark seemed a little happier, "Okay. Thank you, Seán. Remember that we care about you, alright?"

Jack nodded slowly, "Um, thank you, Mark."

Jack removed his hand from his face and ended the call. When he removed his hand from the mouse, there was makeup smeared on it. Jack cursed under his breath. He had forgot about that, again!

Hoping Mark hadn't noticed, Jack wiped off his mouse, then went and fixed the makeup. He made sure it looked as natural as possible before he turned on his camera.

He decided to record a meme time, because they always made him happier. He got through about three memes before he smudged the makeup again and had to pause to go fix it.

After about an hour and a half of recording, Jack stopped and to turned off the camera. He sent it to his editor and sighed in relief.

He sat down at his desk, wondering what his second video should be, when he realized how dry his throat was. He got up to get a cup of water, passing Connor who froze and looked him over.

"The fuck is on your face?"

Jack frowned, "Makeup. I just, well I mean I had bruises so I wanted to cover them for my videos."

Connor looked angry, "Since when did you start doing that? The fuck? I don't want to date someone who wears makeup. I'd date a girl if I wanted that. Wipe it off."

Jack's heart stuttered, "Well, but, people would want to know where the bruises came from, and I know they wouldn't understand, so-"

Connor glared at him, "I don't give a fuck. Tell them the truth, it was your fault. What's not to understand?"

Jack looked away, his heart sinking, "I guess nothing. I- you're right."

Connor nodded, satisfied, "Good. Now go wipe it off and throw the rest away. I don't want to see you wearing anymore makeup. You look girly enough as it is."

Jack nodded slowly and walked back to the bathroom. He pulled out a makeup wipe and slowly started to wipe off the concealer. After he had removed it all, he stared at himself in the mirror. The bruises seemed more prominent since his skin was red around them. _If only I didn't bruise so easily,_ he thought bitterly. _What am I going to do about videos?_

Jack bit the inside of his lip. Grabbing his makeup bag, Jack peaked outside the bathroom, then snuck into his recording room. He knew that Connor didn't go in here unless he had to, so he wouldn't find it unless Jack left it out. Guilt settled in his stomach as he hid the bag in a drawer. He shouldn't be hiding things from Connor, but he really didn't want to explain how much of a failure he was to his fans. That could be the spark that causes them to realize just how worthless he is, then he would be left with nothing.

 _No, not nothing,_ he told himself _. You would still have Connor_. But a part of him wondered if Connor would stay if Jack no longer made him money.

Pushing the thought aside, Jack decided to wait to record another video. Instead he went back out to the living room and got the cup of water he had been meaning to get before he ran into Connor. Connor was still in the kitchen as he passed and commented, "You look better already," as Jack filled his cup.

Jack put on a small smile as he turned around. He really did want to make Connor happy, which only made him feel more guilty that he had hid the makeup. He watched the other man for a minute before asking quietly, "Do you want to watch a movie? We haven't really done anything together like that in a while."

Connor shrugged, "Sure, as long as it isn't one of your stupid sci-fi movies. Or romance."

Jack nodded happily, "Right, of course. Do you want to pick one while I make some popcorn?"

Connor glanced at him, then shrugged, "Sure. I don't want butter on mine."

Jack nodded and turned to make some popcorn. When the kernels started popping, Connor got up and headed into their living room, turning in the TV. Jack threw some garlic salt over the two bowls and handed the larger one to Connor as he sat next to him on the couch.

Without a word, Connor moved his arm from his side and held it up. With a grin, Jack snuggled into his side and popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth as the movie started.

It was moments like these that made Jack sure of their relationship. They were happy now, right? They were together, and they were happy, and that's what mattered in a relationship. Fighting happened, no matter how much you love someone.

Jack rested his head on Connor's shoulder, a smile on his face. Connor's arm was draped loosely over Jack's shoulder, and he was watching him closely, not that Jack noticed.

About halfway through the movie, Connor reached over and started to palm Jack through his pants. Jack sighed internally, upset that Connor hadn't been enjoying the movie as much as he had. Jack tried to gently move his hand, "I'm really into this movie right now-"

Connor grabbed his face roughly, "I don't care, I'm horny." And suddenly they were kissing. Jack held back the sigh that was trapped in his chest, knowing that it was useless to argue with him.

Connor stopped kissing him and moved his hand from Jack's face to rest gently on his throat. Jack glanced at the TV and quietly asked, "Can we at least pause the movie? I mean- it's just that it's distracting-"

Connor slapped him, "Shut up." Jack listened. Connor replaced the hand on his throat and moved the other one down to Jack's pants. Jack bit his lip and tried to ignore the thoughts that ran through his head as Connor did what he wanted to him.

Afterwards, Jack hadn't felt much like doing anything, feeling upset. He sent a text to Robin, telling him that he wouldn't be sending a second video that day, and that he would send three tomorrow to make up for the lost time. Robin had responded, telling him it was no problem, but Jack still felt bad for placing a larger workload on him.

As he showered that night, he wondered why he let Connor do whatever he wanted with him, whenever he wanted it. He told himself that people compromised in relationships, but he couldn't help but feel that it was always him that made the compromise, never Connor.

There was a large part of him that told him to shut up, and to just be happy Connor found him attractive enough to have sex with at all. A smaller part of him told him to stand up for himself, but Jack pushed it away. There was nothing for him to stand up against; he refused to think it.

As he dried himself off, Jack went to check his bruises and noticed new ones on his neck from Connor digging his fingers in when he had wanted Jack to shut up earlier. Sighing, Jack wondered how he was going to cover even more bruises. Luckily, his black eye was already fading, and Jack was hopeful it would be entirely gone by the next day.

Connor was already asleep that night when Jack crawled into bed. He watched the sleeping man's face for a minute, smiling at how peaceful he looked. He twisted to turn off the light, then sank into the bed, exhausted.

When Jack woke up, Connor was gone. He wasn't anywhere in their house, and he hadn't texted Jack. Trying not to worry, Jack quickly used the opportunity to cover his bruises with makeup and start filming.

He managed to film two full videos and was part way through a third when he heard Connor call his name. Pausing the game he was playing, Jack scrambled to start wiping the makeup off.

After a minute, Jack threw the wipe in the trash and opened the door. He almost ran into Connor, whose fist was raised to knock on his door. He raised an eyebrow at Jack, "What are you doing?"

Jack tapped his fingers against the door nervously, "I was filming, I just wanted to shut off the camera before I opened the door." As Jack spoke he realized the he had not turned off the camera. Glancing behind him at the camera, he could see the little red light that indicated it was recording.

Turned quickly back to Connor, Jack forced a smile, "I'm sorry I didn't come when you called me. What did you need?"

Connor frowned, "I just wanted to know where you were. What are you making for dinner, I'm pretty hungry."

Jack frowned, "Oh, um. I don't know, I hadn't thought about it yet. We could go out to eat?"

Connor huffed, "Yeah, alright. But only one night, we shouldn't do it too often. We don't want you getting lazy."

Jack nodded slowly, "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I can make something tonight if you want."

Connor shook his head, "No, you already decided you didn't want to tonight." His voice had a hint of a sneer in it. "I'll decide where we're going, since you decide dinner almost every night."

Jack nodded and smiled as Connor left. He closed the door and went to quickly cover up his bruises with makeup again. He finished the video he was in the middle of, then turned off his camera.

Deciding he would take Mark up on his offer, and sent him a text asking if he wanted to play some uno within the next few days. He almost immediately got a response, asking him to Skype.

Jack responded that he would in a few minutes, and he quickly uploaded and sent the footage he had just recorded to Robin, forgetting about the interruption by Connor as he did so.

After he double checked that it sent, Jack opened Skype and called Mark. His face popped up on the screen and Jack grinned, "Hey, Mark. How's it going?"

Mark matched his grin, "It's going good, it's going good. Do you have time to do the video today? Bob, Wade, and I were already planning on doing a video together in a few hours, I'm sure they would be happy if you joined."

Jack hesitated and looked at the clock, "Well, as long as we're done by 7:00 here. That's about four hours from now."

Mark nodded, and leaned towards his computer, "Yeah, sure. That'll work. I'll just let them know that you're going to join. We could probably start in about half an hour if they see my messages in time."

Jack nodded, unable to hold back a grin, "Great! I wasn't expecting it to be so soon, but this will be fun."

Mark smiled at him and there was about ten minutes of silence as Mark went back and forth between Bob and Wade, trying to see if they were ready to film.

Ten minutes after that, Bob and Wade had joined the call and Mark was starting a game of Uno for them to join. Jack was the last to join the game, as his internet was being slow.

They played uno for two hours, then decided to move onto a different game. Jack totally forgot that he had been planning on leaving at 7:00 so that he could be ready for dinner with Connor, and they played until past 7:30 before Mark commented on the time.

"Hey, Seán? Didn't you want to leave at 7:00? It's been almost five hours, and you said you had to go in four."

Jack glanced at the clock and cursed, "Ah, shit. You're right. Thanks, Mark. I better go. Sorry, guys."

Mark scoffed, then sarcastically said, "Oh, yeah? You better be."

Jack smiled, but his heart sank a little. Despite the fact that he knew Mark was joking, he could help but feel that he was in the wrong. He attempted to joke back, but he sounded too sincere, "You're right, Mark. I'll do better next time."

Everyone was quiet for a second, "Wow Jack, you sounded really sincere," Bob laughed.

Jack smiled weakly, "I'm just such a great actor, you know?"

They all laughed, and Jack said goodbye one more time before he exited both their call and the game. Turning off the camera, Jack sent the footage to Robin with the note, " _Sorry, I know this is a lot of footage for one day. Whenever you can get to it, I don't mind if it takes a while_."

Jack rapidly wiped off his makeup again, making sure he got every bit before he left his recording room and went to find Connor. He found him watching TV. Not wanting to interrupt, Jack sat down next to him and waited until a commercial break to ask, "When do you want to go to dinner?"

Connor glanced at the clock and shrugged, "Don't know. I'm going to finish this show first."

Jack nodded, "Sure. Um, do you want to get dressed up? We could make this like a date?"

Connor groaned, "God, you're so clingy sometimes. I just want food, I don't want to do anything stupid tonight."

Jack bit his lip, "You're right. I'm sorry, I just thought it might be nice to-"

"Well, you thought wrong," Connor interrupted, "Now go away, the commercials are over."

Jack sighed and stood up. He went into their room and decided to change anyway. He didn't dress up too fancy, but he wanted to be in something better than what he had been wearing all day.

With a smile, Jack pulled out some of the new line of Cloak clothing and put it on. He looked in the mirror and smiled again, pride filling him as he studied the clothing he and Mark had made.

When Connor finished his show, he drove them to the restaurant he had chosen. They were sat down by the hostess, and Jack smiled as they looked over their menus, "This is a nice place. Thank you for choosing it. And for driving."

Connor glanced up from the menu and flashed him a small smile, "Yeah, mhm. I know what I'm getting, what about you?"

Jack glanced down at the menu, unsure. He had never been there before, so he didn't know what their food was like. However, he didn't want to keep Connor waiting, so he chose something at random and nodded, "Yeah, I think so."

Connor called the waiter over and they placed their order. Jack was feeling happy that they had gone out together, as he couldn't remember the last time they had, and could stop smiling.

He drew Connor into some small talk, and was overjoyed when he seemed to pay attention to their conversation. They talked about random things for a while before Connor decided to bring up what Jack was wearing.

"Why did you change into those?"

Jack wasn't sure how to respond, "Um, I don't know. I guess I felt like I'd been in the same clothes all day, and that I want to change."

Connor wrinkled his nose, "Yeah, but why those? I don't like your little clothing line with your friend. It's a stupid idea, honestly, and I don't like that it's with him specifically."

Jack's heart felt like it cracked. He was so proud of their clothing line, why didn't Connor feel proud of him? His lip trembled, "O-oh. Well, um, why... Why don't you like Mark?"

Connor frowned, "I just think he likes you, and I don't like that. I don't like when you hang out with people who are too close to you."

Jack bit his lip. "But Mark likes girls," he pointed out.

Connor glared at him, "Well, you never know," he snapped. "Anyway, my point is that I don't like it when you wear those clothes. It makes me feel like you're wearing another man's clothing."

Jack swallowed, and nodded slowly. It hurt him, it hurt him to agree to turn his back on something he had worked so hard on with someone else. But he felt liked he owed it to Connor, to make him comfortable.

There was silence for a minute, when Connor randomly said, "You should get your tongue pierced."

Jack blinked and looked at him, confused, "What? Why?"

Connor grinned at him, "You look hotter when you try to be punk. Your gauges and your tattoos. Plus," Connor leaned over the table, "Can you imagine what that's feel like when you suck me off?"

Jack turned red and stared at his hands, "I, um. I don't really want to get my tongue pierced."

Connor's eyebrows came together, "That's fine. You'll change your mind. We'll talk about this later."

Jack bit his lip, trying to distract himself from how uncomfortable he felt. Luckily, the food came them and he didn't have to try to come up with a new topic.

They ate in mostly silence, broken by the occasional comment about the food, before Jack paid and they left. As they drove back, Jack kept replaying Connor's words in his head. _Would I really look better with a tongue piercing? Do I look better with more piercings? I don't want to pierce my tongue, but should I do it for him? He seemed sincere..._

Jack sighed, still struggling with the idea. They reached their house, and went inside. As Jack was taking off his jacket, Connor spoke up, "I want you to get your tongue pierced within the next few days. I know you don't think you want to, but trust me, you'll look better."

Jack couldn't help sighing as his insecurities bubbled up. _I know I'm not that good looking, but will a tongue piercing really change that much?_

Jack just nodded mutely in response. Connor grinned at him and said, "I'll set up an appointment. I know a great place."

Jack's heart sank even lower, but he nodded again, forcing a small smile. Connor frowned at him, "Aren't you going to thank me?"

Jack nodded quickly, "I'm sorry, thank you. Thank you for getting me an appointment, Connor."

"Ugh," Connor grunted, "Stop fucking apologizing. Jesus, it only makes it more obvious that you keep fucking up."

Jack nodded, biting back a new apology, "You're right. I- I promise I'm trying."

Connor scoffed, "Try harder. I'm going to bed, I have work tomorrow."

Jack nodded moving out of his way, "Do you need anything before you go to bed? I can-"

Connor cut him off by pushing past him and leaving without a word. Jack blinked and stared after him. He stood there for a few minutes, feeling like he had let Connor down, and trying to convince himself that he should be happy to get a tongue piercing for Connor.

He still felt a large hole in his chest as he brushed his teeth and lay down next to Connor for the night. "I love you," he murmured. Connor didn't respond, despite the fact that Jack could tell he was awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, I have about five chapters written of this. I have a question though, if anyone cares to answer. In this storyline, it kind of feels weird to have Mark and Seán start dating, but I always feel pressured in these stories to have that happen, even if I don't feel like it belongs. (Also, it feels weird at this point to just ignore their girlfriends bc they are queens. I definitely don't ever stand for shit talking them, even in an alternate universe so at the worst they simply never existed in my fics.)
> 
> Don't give me things like "oh if you don't want them to date, don't write it that way" I want to know what you actually think. I can have them date, or I can not. If they do, it won't be immediate bc Jack has to get over his abusive ex (yes, spoiler alert. Eventually Connor becomes an ex. Wow, it's like that's the point of the story)
> 
> ANYWAY, I would 'preciate anyone who gives me their honest opinion about whether or not you like fics where they date, or if it's a rule breaker, or really anything. Thanks y'all.
> 
> Also, this is like the most chill abuse scene I have in the story. It gets worse haha. Lmk if y'all think I should put a warning cause 🤷♂️


	3. Idk, dudes blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so. This idea stemmed from my longtime fear of being blind. I have horrible eyesight and when I was young I was always terrified that I would go blind. I'm still afraid of that, but much less so. I kind of wanted to explore what it would be like to navigate something like college when you are newly blind. It strays very far from that, but that is indeed what it started as. Anyway, here are the tags that apply.
> 
> Hurt Seán McLoughlin (kinda. lowkey)  
> Original Male Character (again a kinda)  
> Alternate Universe - College/University  
> Blind Character  
> Family Drama  
> Family Issues  
> Car Accidents  
> Recovery (lowkey)  
> Anxiety (lowkey)
> 
> And that should be it. Let me know if you think there should be any other tags. Thank you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the summary I had written for this story. Is bad. I also wrote this summary when I thought that every Seán/Mark fic had to end with them dating because otherwise people wouldn't read it. I do feel a little bit different with AU's such as this where it really isn't very accurate to their personalities. So, I don't know if I will have them date or not, it will probably depend on how gay I feel as I continue to write this. Anyway, summary.
> 
> Jack lost his sight in the accident a year ago, but he's still coping. He's coping not only with his blindness and his other physical disfigurements, but the death of his family. His problems weigh heavy on his shoulders - that is, until he meets his new college roommate. Could this be the beginning of his new life? Or is there something else that will stand in the way of his happy ending?

  
  
  
  


...

  
  
  
  


He doesn't know how long he's been floating in nothing. 

  
  
  
  


...

  
  
  
  


He feels like there's something important he should be able to remember, but when he tries to focus on it, all he can remember is the smell of smoke. He can't feel his body, when he tries to move it's like his body dissolves into the nothing surrounding all his senses.

  
  
  
  


...

  
  
  
  


He knows he isn't awake, though something pulls at his consciousness; a steady beeping that drills into his head and contaminates his every thought.

  
  


...

  
  


Beep, beep, beep.

  
  


...

  
  


Is this a dream?

  
  


...

  
  


Beep, beep, beep.

  
  


...

  
  


More like a nightmare. He can't feel his body, he's floating and moving, but he's deadly still.

  
  


...

  
  


Beep, beep, beep.

Something changes. At first it's subtle, then suddenly it's as though someone dumped a bucket of ice water on his head and his arm twitches. The feeling of having a body to move shocks him, breaking the sleep he had been unwillingly pulled into.

But when he wakes up, he finds out his nightmare has only just begun.

Everything is blurry and at first, he wonders if he's dead. Then he feels the pain. His eyes burn and his legs ache with a deep, hard pain. He can't feel his left hand, but he can feel the various scrapes, cuts, and burns covering his body. His stomach is wrapped in some sort of bandage, but Jack can't feel why.

He noticed all of this in a few seconds, but he hardly pays it any attention. Why is everything so blurry? Jack squinted but it didn't do anything. It felt like he was looking at the world through wax paper, doubled on itself then laid over his eyes, a thick sheet of something dark, separating him from the world.

Panic gripped him. What happened? Where was his mom? His dad? His sister? He heard a click of metal then an excited voice.

"Seán? You're awake?" He heard movement then something touched his face. He flinched away and struggled to focus his eyes. He saw three quick but indistinct flashes of light before the voice spoke again.

"Your pupils aren't responding to the light. We were afraid of this after the injury to your eyes, can you tell me how many fingers you see?"

Jack tried, he really tried, but it seemed like the harder he tried to see, the darker everything got. He panicked, "I can't see your fingers, I can't see your hand, I can't see you!" Jack tried to sit up, but the pain in his side prevented him from moving. He pulled in ragged breaths, trying to calm the rising hysteria, "Everything's so blurry, why can't I see?! What happened?!"

Jack felt a hand touch his shoulder, "It's okay, Seán. Deep breaths. You were in an accident, a bad one. You're lucky to be alive."

Jack didn't feel lucky. He felt horrible. There was a pit in his stomach and he was afraid. He was afraid to ask, but he had to know, "Who else survived?"

Silence. Jack broke down. His eyes burned, but no tears came out. A feeling of despair welled up inside him; most of his family might be dead and he couldn't even cry for them.

The doctor laid a hand on his shoulder gently, "We'll talk about that later. It's probably best if you get some rest, some real rest, and we'll have some... er- professionals come in and talk to you about the accident."

If Jack had been at full health, he would have grabbed the doctor by the collar. He would have yelled, demanding a solid answer of where his family was.

Instead, he reached out in the vague direction of the doctor's voice with both hands, automatically still wanting to wrap them around his throat. He winced as a sudden pain laced through his side and his hands went limp over the side of the bed. He felt weak, lying twisted up and unable to properly move in the bed.

"Please..." Jack begged the doctor, "Please just tell me someone else survived. Anyone."

The doctor was quiet, and Jack suddenly felt hands gently helping him back into a sitting position. Jack wanted to scream at how sudden the pain was at the contact. The doctor let out a heavy breath.

"I'm sorry," the doctor's voice was almost a whisper. Tension suddenly thickened in the air and Jack wished he could turn back time as the doctor said the words he could sense were coming next, "You were the only survivor."

His body hurt, but it was nothing compared to the agony in his heart. He had to force his breathing to stay steadying or it would race along with his heartbeat. He would never again see his mom's smile, hear his sister's laugh, or feel his dad's comforting hug. Jack closed his eyes, holding back the tears. He traced over his mom's face in his head, determined to remember every detail. When he had finished with her, he moved to his dad, then both of his sisters. He would never forget them. Never.

He didn't hear the doctor leave, but when he focused his hearing, the room was silent except for the running of the machines. Opening his eyes, Jack struggled to bring things into focus for a while before eventually giving up.

He closed his eyes again and fell asleep without meaning to.

  
  
  


When he woke up the doctors ran tests. They asked him question after question about his vision and how much what hurt when he moved it. They took an ultrasound on his eyes that was really weird but necessary and they changed the bandages on his side and hand. When he asked what had happened there they said he had a third degree burn that covered a large section of the left side of his body as well as his left arm reaching all the way down and barely touching his fingers. Apparently one of the cars gas tanks had been punctured and caught on fire. He had been burning for an unknown amount of time before the firefighters arrived and put it out, causing severe nerve damage. That explained the smoke he smelled when he was unconscious.

A few days later he got news that changed his life once again. He was holding onto hope that his eyes would get better, that maybe he would just need really strong glasses, or surgery, but he wasn't so lucky. He had degenerative nerve damage in his eyes, so instead of getting better as he'd hoped, they would only get worse. And there was nothing anyone could do.

How little he could see scared him. It taunted him, it dangled sight right in front of him, but he knew he would never get it, so he blacked it out. He wore sunglasses that had the darkest lenses he could find and the world was completely gone. His sunglasses were his safety net. He tried for so long to get through without them, but in the end he always ran back to them, like a toxic relationship. Even after a year of his eyes getting slowly worse, to the point where all he could see was lights and shadows, he still could hardly stand to open his eyes without his glasses on.

His burns left scars that made Jack self conscious even though he couldn't see them. He could feel how bad they were and his arm sometimes shook when he tried to do certain activities due to the nerve damage. He always wore long sleeves and a single fingerless glove on his left hand to cover the marks. His glasses and cane made it obvious he was blind, but the worst part - the part he couldn't hide - was his leg.

He now wore a brace that locked every time he put his foot down, and unlocked every time he picked it up. He needed it because not only had it been broken, but a piece of metal had carved in through his shattered kneecap and permanently damaged some of the ligaments in his knee so that he could not walk without help.

His two brothers had very different, and almost predictable, reactions. His oldest brother, Kieran, still lived in Ireland and wasn't willing to take a break from work to fly to America for the funerals. Or to see Jack. He was, however, willing to send Jack some money and talk to him just enough to keep Jack from losing his mind. Kieran, being the oldest living child of their parents, had inherited the family house, as well as the money their parents had saved up over the years. Kieran sold the house, and decided that he would use the money to help Jack with whatever he needed, though Jack tried to reject the help. Kieran was an interesting case; it wasn't that he was apathetic to his family's death, it was that he didn't really know how to handle his own emotions, much less handle someone else who was struggling.

His other brother, Liam, who was older than him but younger than Kieran didn't come to the funeral simply because he didn't want to. He offered Jack no sympathy and Jack was pretty sure he was laughing behind his back at how helpless he was. He would probably laugh directly to Jack's face, if they ever talked. Jack wasn't sure why Liam was so aggressive. He used to be so empathetic, but about a year before the crash his personality took a 180 and he started lashing out at his parents and siblings.

Jack, being the youngest, was the only one in the family who was still living at home, but everyone except for Kieran had been living in the same 50 mile radius, even Liam. Save for Liam, everyone was a functioning, loving family. Sure, everyone had their problems, but Jack didn't want to remember those. He wanted to remember the best parts of them, just as he was sure they would have done if he was the only one who had died.

Jack hated everything about his situation. He had been left next to alone and totally damaged. His once promising future had turned dark and desolate before his now useless eyes. He was disabled and useless. There were low points, so many low points where Jack thought it might be better if he had died, but he tried to bury those thoughts. He was the only one keeping his family's memory alive, he couldn't betray them by killing himself.

Months and months of physical therapy and learning everything about being blind, from walking with a cane to learning Braille to how to get dressed again, later, Jack was sent a notice for a full ride scholarship to a college he had never heard of. They said they had a great program to help blind and disabled students (Jack wanted to throw up at the word disabled. He didn't think he would ever get use to it being used towards him) and despite having not applied to any colleges, they had seen his high school transcripts and decided to give him the scholarship based on his "special circumstances" (their words, not his)

They did, however, choose his major for him, stating that they only had a few openings and that this was the best they could offer him. He doubted he would _ever_ use a degree in Hotel Management for anything, but what the hell.

Figuring he had nothing better to do with his recovery and he wasn't likely to get offered anything better for the rest of his life, Jack accepted the offer. He emailed back and forth (and yes, blind people can use email) with the dean of students and worked out some of the details. He would be staying in some of the cheapest dorms and he would have to deal with a roommate, but they told him they would try to match him with a good roommate.

  
  
  


Jack asked someone for directions and they turned him in the correct direction. Thanking whoever it was that had helped him, Jack started walking, cane in front of him. He was finally comfortable walking without the fear of hitting his face on something, of which he was glad. College was hard enough if you were able to walk around with perfect sight, it would be so much harder for him. His cheap, extra dark sunglasses rested on his nose, and he was wearing his usual jacket and fingerless glove to cover his scars, despite the beating summer sun making him sweat.

His cane hit something and reached out, feeling a wall. He followed it with his fingers, trying to find a door or a sign, something to tell him where he was. After a couple of steps, there was a sharp turn, a corner in the building. Jack followed it and felt the sun's heat fade on his body. He figured he was in the shade and kept walking, one hand on his cane and the other on the wall. The wall was popcorn textured and Jack wrinkled his nose, he hated when places used that because it caused calluses on his fingers which made it harder to read Braille.

His hand found a dip then smooth metal, which Jack figured was a door. He felt around the side for a tag with the room number and Braille, but couldn't find any. Cursing silently to himself, he kept walking and repeated the same thing on the next door, except this time he found a tag. He ran his fingers over the Braille, struggling to read it. He was still very slow with Braille and it killed him. He wasn't so sure how well he'd do in college if he had to read all of his textbooks that way.

The number was 7, spelled out instead of just the numbers code. Jack remembered the number of the dean's office was 23. He kept heading in the direction he was going as the numbers counted up. He stopped running his hand along the wall at 11 and just walked a while, tapping his cane against the wall to make sure he didn't lose it. After about a minute of walking, he checked the wall again. The next door was 24 so he backtracked and read the number to make sure he was in the right one before entering.

He stood in the doorway for a second, unsure before a voice called to him, "Are you here to see the Dean?"

Jack smiled in the direction of the voice, "Yes please." Immediately he wanted to punch himself. Please?

There was some noise and the person asked, "Name?"

She probably wanted his real name, right? Adjusting his backpack, he answered, "Seán McLoughlin." 

There were a few beeps and the voice spoke again. Jack guessed they were on the phone. "Seán McLoughlin is here to see you.... Okay I'll send him in... Okay."

A click then, "You can go in... Oh, uh, the door is three steps to your right."

Jack thanked her and carefully felt for the handle. After fumbling like an idiot for a second, he walked into what he guessed was the dean's office.

A cheery voice called to him from directly in front of him, "Ah, Seán. It's wonderful to meet you."

Jack nodded slightly, "Thank you. It's nice to meet you too." There was a silence then the dean coughed. Jack felt himself go scarlet as he realized that he must have tried to shake his hand. People seemed to do that all too often and Jack always felt like it was his fault that they forgot. Or maybe he should start offering his hand first? He was never sure.

"There's a chair in front of you, please sit."

Jack thanked him and felt for the chair with his cane. After he sat down, the man started talking about all of the things the college offered and how they had so much help offered for blind students. Most of it went over Jack's head, but he sat there listening for what felt like hours as the dean droned on and on.

"... Most students will be arriving next week, but I figured you would want to come early and maybe learn where your dorm and all your classes are. Your roommate will also be arriving next week and I'm sure he's excited to meet you."

Jack wasn't so sure about that, but he didn't say anything. After a few more boasts about the college as well as some reassurances that Jack would get all the help he needs, Jack was finally excused from the dean's office.

"I'll call someone to show you to your dorm!" There were a few beeps, Jack guessed he was dialing someone, then he spoke quickly into the receiver. He explained that Jack was blind and needed to be shown where his dorm was and Jack stood awkwardly near the door, at least he hoped the door was next to him. After a few minutes the door opened and footsteps entered.

"Ah, there you are Anna. Would you show Mr. McLoughlin to his dorm, please? It should be West 13, the double. Thank you." He didn't wait for a response to assume that whoever - Anna, supposed - would agree to help him.

A soft voice asked, "Seán, it is?"

Jack cleared his throat slightly, "I prefer Jack."

"Okay... um the door is to your left slightly, I'll open it for you." Jack tried to smile in thanks as he stepped forward. His cane hit the door and he swung it the other way, trying to find the door frame.

He tried not to let his embarrassment show as he found the opening and walked through. He stopped outside and waited for Anna.

When he heard the door close he asked, "Can you lead me?"

"Sure, how do I do that?"

Jack held out his right hand (he didn't like using his scarred left hand even though it was technically correct in this situation) and said, "I just hold your elbow and you don't let me hit anything."

Her elbow hit his hand and he grabbed it gently. She started walking and talking so he followed, "So the dean's office is near the front of the school, which I'm guessing you came that way, and your dorm is to the west, hence the name. If you're leaving the West dorm the closest cafeteria is just past the science building on your right, or is it your left? I think it's your right. Do you need help finding all your classes? I could help you with that if you want, I don't have anything all week." There was a pause in the walking and Jack heard a door open and felt a blast of air conditioning hit his face.

As she started talking again Jack couldn't help but note how talkative she was. "I don't know if you have family coming or someone that can help you, but if you need help I'm the person to go to. Oh, here we go this is your room, you're on the ground floor. There's stairs at the end of this hall that lead to the second floor where we have a common room where people hang out and do homework and stuff. You should really go once everyone is here, I don't know if you can take the stairs but there's also an elevator a little farther down."

When she paused to suck in air from her rambling, Jack the opportunity to cut her off with a quick thank you then he let go of her elbow and turned to where he hoped the door was. He pulled out the key that had been mailed to him and found the handle with his other hand, inserting the key and twisting to open it. He heard it click and pushed slightly so it swung open.

As quickly as he could without making a fool of himself in front of someone he had just met (he could still hear Anna's breathing in the doorway) Jack used his cane to get an idea of the space around him. When he found the bed, which was a bunk, he set his backpack with all of his belongings that he had decided to keep in it on the bottom bunk and turned to face the door, or at least his best guestimate of where the door was.

"Thank you for helping me find my room," Jack smiled.

"Of course! My room is just down the hall, number 17 if you need anything. Stop by anytime, I'm not kidding. I'm doing nothing but helping to set up this week, I'll be glad for the break. I'll let you get settled." The door clicked and Jack sighed, happy to be alone. He reached up to take off his sunglasses, but he hesitated. He slid his finger along the rim then slowly let his hand fall to the side, leaving his glasses in place.

He set his cane against the ladder to the top bunk and moved around the room again, slower this time trying to memorize where everything was. Next to his bed was a little desk with a chair that tucked under it perfectly so that it didn't stick out in the middle of the room, which he loved. There were shelves above the desk and drawers along both sides of the slot for the chair. Against the other wall was a sink with a cupboard underneath. There was something hanging on the wall above it that Jack guessed was the mirror because the texture was so smooth.

Next to the sink there was a door that led to the bathroom which had a single toilet and shower that were separated so there could be one person at each. There was a door on the opposite side that Jack assumed led to another dorm that would be sharing the bathroom.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and sat on his bed. He set his backpack on the ground and laid back. There were no covers but there was a pillow. Turning on his side, Jack took off his sunglasses and set them on the desk

He stared up at the top of the bunk above him. He couldn't see much except a greyish brown smear, so he just closed his eyes. He didn't know what he'd do for a full two weeks before classes. He didn't want to bother Anna again, despite how much she said she didn't care, so he'd have to find his classes on his own.

But that could wait.

  
  
  
  


Jack spent most of his first week in his dorm room. He downloaded most of his textbooks as audiobooks on his phone and passed most of his time laying on his bed listening to them. He figured he'd be too busy when classes actually started to have time to do that, so he'd get whatever head start he could. When he got sick of laying down, he'd get up and do the exercises his physical therapist had given him for strengthening his leg, even though he knew it would never get better. It didn't hurt to try (actually, it did, but he was supposed to stay optimistic. His leg caused him a lot of pain, and supposedly his exercises were supposed to help with that, but Jack didn't have much faith).

He liked that his roommate wasn't there yet because he could take off his jacket and glove. The heat would have been unbearable and the little temperature unit on the wall near the bathroom was a touch screen without a speech feature (at least not one that Jack could find) so he couldn't operate it. He wasn't sure which day his roommate would be arriving, but he knew that it could be any day now.

Deciding that he didn't want to be caught unprepared, Jack put back on his jacket, glove, and the knee brace he took off a few days ago. If his roommate came in when he was sleeping, Jack wouldn't be able to cover his arm. It wouldn't be the end of the world, they would be living together; he would have to find out eventually, but Jack would like to put it off as long as possible. He didn't want pity and he didn't want his roommate to think he was an attention whore. He also knew that someone seeing his scars would really mess with self confidence. As of that moment, he was able to cover the parts of him he was the most insecure about, so in that respect he was lucky.

He lay on his bed and put in his earbuds, turning on one of his favorite for-fun audiobooks. His sunglasses slipped down his face and the bridge rested against his forehead. He ignored it and closed his eyes. He accidentally fell asleep within minutes.

  
  
  


He woke up when his door opened. He paused his audiobook, pulling the earbuds out of his ears, as he stood up and turned his face in the direction of the door. Slow, heavy footsteps entered and Jack guessed that whoever was carrying a lot.

He could hear the surprise in the man's voice as he said, "You must be my roommate, I'm Mark."

His voice sent chills down Jack's back in a good way. It was deep and rich and smooth like nothing Jack had ever heard before. It took a second for his brain to kick in and he realized he should say something back, "Yeah, er.... I'm Jack." He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

There was silence for a second, Jack guessed he was looking around the room because he said in the velvety deep voice of his, "Did you just get here too? It's kind of empty."

Jack shrugged, "I don't have very much stuff. I got here last week."

Mark sounded surprised, "I didn't know students were allowed to come that early."

Jack bit his lip, uncertain, "They um, they let some students who need... help come early."

Silence again. Jack hated every second of it.

"Oh, that's nice of them. Did you need help because of your leg?"

Jack frowned slightly, confused, "Um, not really it's more for my eyesight."

Jack waited. There was a soft slap sound and Mark groaned, "I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot. I couldn't tell you were blind, I'm sorry."

Jack shrugged, "It's fine. It doesn't matter."

"I'm going to put my stuff down, if that's okay with you?" More heavy footsteps and Jack felt Mark brush past him. Jack stepped back to let him have more room. After Mark had set whatever it was on his bed he said, "I'm going to be going in and out a lot getting all my stuff. I'm sorry in advance if I bother you."

Jack shook his head, "You won't. I'd offer to help but I'm afraid I would be of much use."

Mark sounded excited, "I could use some company if you wouldn't mind the walk."

Jack debated it. He hadn't really been outside the dorm much and he was almost certain he would get lost. Jack fiddled with his jacket sleeve and tried not to mumble, "I don't know if I can. I wouldn't want to be in the way and I don't know this place well enough to not get lost."

A beat of silence, "Okay." Was that disappointment or just wishful thinking? 

Before Jack could say anything he heard Mark open the door and say, "I'm going to go," before the door closed.

Mark hadn't sounded angry, but Jack couldn't be sure. Sighing, he sat back on the bed cursed his helplessness for what felt like the millionth time since the accident. He hated being blind.

Jack waited on the edge of his bed for the door to click open and he immediately apologized as Mark set down his things, "Hey, um, Mark. I'm sorry if I came across as kind of... I don't know. I'll go with you if you still need help."

Jack held his breath and he heard a soft laugh from Mark, "It's alright, I don't have any more stuff."

Jack's shoulders slumped slightly, "Oh."

Mark sounded like he was trying to calm him down, "No, no! I was actually going to apologize to _you_."

Jack's eyebrows knit themselves together, "Um, apologize? Why?"

There was a hesitation and Jack tried to picture what Mark was doing. Nothing came to his mind, "Well, I realized that since you couldn't see me I might have come across as kind of rude. And when you apologized to me I realized that it definitely did."

Jack took a second to think about his words, "Oh. Well, um, thank you." Jack awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

Jack could practically hear the smile in Mark's voice, "Why don't we get to know each other? I don't want to be the roommates that ignore each other and never talk unless they're mad."

Jack nodded, "I'd hate that. So um, where do we start?"

"Um, I don't know," Mark laughed, "I guess just the basic information about ourselves. So um. My name's Mark Fischbach. I'm 18. I have one brother and two adorable dogs, though I unfortunately couldn't bring either of them with me. My mom is the nicest human on the planet."

Jack smiled slightly, but he was kind of panicking. He didn't want to bring up his family, it still caused his heart to ache for hours when he talked about them, so he avoided the topic entirely, "Well, um, my name's actually Seán McLoughlin but I prefer to go by Jack..." _It's what my mom called me_. Jack swallowed and continued with a semi forced laugh, "As you can probably tell, I'm blind... and I have a lame leg. Oh, um, I'm 19. I missed a year in between high school and University."

Jack smiled at Mark, hoping he had done a good enough job. He wasn't very good with human interactions anymore, he always felt awkward and like he misunderstood the subtle differences that were often communicated through physical movements.

Mark's voice was curious, "Did you miss a year to work or did you not know what you wanted to do?"

Jack thought about it, not wanting to talk about his accident, which happened during his 'year off', "I guess I didn't really know what my options were. You know, being blind now I just-" Shit, he wasn't really sure where he was going. He didn't really need to pour out his worries to a stranger, so he shrugged, "I guess I was just confused."

There was some shifting, "I understand, I'm not really sure what I'm doing yet. I'm glad that they let you wait to declare your major here."

Jack smiled. They had decided his major for him, in hotel management. Because he was so passionate about that (read: sarcasm), "Yeah, it's pretty cool. They seem like a good uni."

Jack could hear the pride in Mark's voice, "I've wanted to go here since I was in sixth grade. I'm so lucky I was accepted."

Jack suddenly felt guilty. Him being at that University could be taking the place of someone who's dream it was to go here. He remembered that the dean had placed him in the cheap dorms and he wondered if Mark was one of the people he had almost taken the opportunity from. What would Mark have done if he hadn't gotten into this school?

He swallowed heavily, forcing down the guilt with a smile, "Wow, that's really cool." Jack didn't know what else to say. He fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket with his non-gloved hand.

Mark's voice was layered with shock, "How are you wearing that jacket?! It's like 98 degrees in here!"

Jack was kind of taken aback, "Did you just now notice it?"

There was a slight pause, "... maybe."

Jack smiled at his obliviousness and shrugged in response to his question, "I just like the jacket," he lied through his teeth.

Mark scoffed loudly, raising a single eyebrow that Jack couldn't see, "And the single fingerless glove?"

Jack folded his arms mockingly, unable to wipe the smile off his face, "It's a fashion statement."

Mark scoffed again, this time with a little huff on the end, and Jack could tell he was joking, "I thought you were blind," he said, faking an accusing tone.

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Blind people can like fashion. They just can't tell the colors of their clothes."

Mark laughed. Jack was so distracted by the smooth sound that almost missed the reply, "That's actually a fair point."

Jack smiled, wishing he could tell if Mark was too, "Now that we're on the topic of temperature, would you mind turning down the thermostat? Just because I like this jacket, doesn't mean I'm not dying."

Jack missed Mark's questioning look, "You haven't turned it down all week? Why not?"

Jack wrinkled his nose and scratched his forehead above his sunglasses, "For all the bragging the school does about being accessible for the disabled, "Jack tried not to flinch at the word, "...they really shouldn't put the blind kid in the room with a touchscreen thermostat.

Mark laughed, "You can't operate it? Oh God, and you've been here all week? My condolences. I'm going to warn you though, this means I have full control over the temperature, and I like it _cold_."

Jack heard the rustling of clothes and soft beeps, presumably from the thermostat, and he nodded even though he had no idea if Mark was looking at him, "Consider me warned." Honestly he was glad, he much preferred the cold and it was a much better excuse to wear long sleeves if he bought new clothing. "I like it cold too."

When the beeping stopped, there was a second of silence before Mark's voice almost scared Jack, "I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind, but I'm really tired and I should probably get some sleep."

Jack nodded, "That makes sense." He wondered what time it was. He heard the bed creak as Mark climbed into the top bunk and Jack resettled himself on the bottom one, grabbing his phone making sure to plug in his headphones so he didn't bother Mark with the voice features. He checked the time, then set an alarm for 7:30. He was going to finally look around campus tomorrow with Anna; he couldn't hide in his room forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ages should be reversed (bc Mark is older than Jack) BUT IT'S NOT LIKE ANYTHING ELSE IS REALISTIC (but I'm also trying to keep like everything I can realistic, but like... It's an au so like I should relax and let myself do whatever I want but I'm paranoid and like, "You have to keep it as close to real life as you can.")
> 
> And if you're wondering why he wears a fingerless glove instead of a full glove, he needs his fingers to help him with things like Braille and if he has to take it off every time he wants to read something, there isn't really a point in having gloves. Also, the burn scars only go to his palm they don't really cover his fingers (a couple have a little bit of burn scars but those are more of second degree burn scars vs third degree scars aka not as bad) Also, cause I'm talking about the burns, the reason he can't really feel his arm or why he has bandages on his side is because when you have a really bad third degree burn, most of the burn becomes numb and you can't feel the pain (the edges of the burns are typically second degree, so you can feel that most of the time.)
> 
> ALSO I made up names for his brothers (but kept his family size the same... cause that matters... idiot) because they are oc in this and I don't really want to be idk, disrespectful. Especially since one of his brothers, Liam, will be having a larger role later on, and it may or may not be in the most positive light.
> 
> Feedback would be appreciated! Thank you all very much for reading. This will probably not be updated regularly, because I want to post these when I'm feeling motivated/focused on a certain story so I can keep up motivation and maybe get some ideas.
> 
> The next chapter I post should be a PJO crossover. I meant to do that one first, but I just wanted to put this out there.


	4. PJO Crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy Jackson/Avengers crossover (I promised y'all a PJO story)
> 
> So, this one stemmed from “I want more Uncle Tony” as well as reading a few fics where Nico goes through tartarus like in the middle of it and comes back really changed (duh). So, even tho Nico is my boy and I love him, I decided to go with Percy cause I can’t do an Uncle Tony with Nico. There is no way to have that make sense.
> 
> Tags  
> Crossover  
> Mental Health Issues  
> Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD  
> Percy Jackson Needs a Hug  
> Hurt Percy Jackson  
> Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson)  
> Tartarus Causes Trauma  
> Recovery
> 
> (I’m not going to be adding tags for universes I do crossovers with, because that is going to get very messy. These are the tags for this crossover, but it will not be added to the tags on the fic)
> 
> Tony Stark/Iron Man  
> Uncle Tony  
> Pepper Potts  
> Other Avengers that I'm too lazy to list rn
> 
> And maybe some other tags, I'm not completely sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA I wrote five chapters of this in two days. I did almost nothing else. I have no working summary, I literally had this idea three days before I posted this. I’m only posting it because apparently I’m suddenly obsessed with this story? IDK
> 
> Anyway. Starting out I just wanna say that this story starts right after the battle of Manhattan, in this version of the story, the mortals didn’t wake up in the middle of the fight. I need it that way to fit my version of events. Also, I quote a little bit from Uncle Rick (with a slight modification) at the beginning. Uncle Rick wrote in first person, but I am two thousand times more comfortable with limited third person, so there will be an awkward switch as I change from Uncle Rick to my own writing.
> 
> I didn’t have him dating Annabeth. There is a plot-related reason for that. I do love Percabeth (probably the only straight ship I accept. Anywhere. Ever.), but I can’t really write straight things. It doesn’t work out well. Also, Peter isn’t in this chapter but let me know if y’all think Peter should be friend or foe (more just like they are suspicious of each other. Percy comes into Tony’s life first, but then he disappears and Peter comes in. Peter doesn’t know Percy existed so it’s v awkward at first) OOORR maybe they can be gay. I always feel weird with crossover ships like that (people from two different universes being shipped together), but I do very much like the gay. 
> 
> I also changed Percy’s age. I just made him one year younger for everything that happened, because I’m sadistic and want Tartarus to happen to a little kid. Yay.

_ I watched as Luke grasped the hilt. I stood before him-defenseless. _

_ He unlatched the side straps of his armor, exposing a small bit of his skin just under his left arm, a place that would be very hard to hit. With difficulty, he stabbed himself. It wasn't a deep cut, but Luke howled. His eyes glowed like lava. The throne room shook, throwing me off my feet. An aura of energy surrounded Luke, growing brighter and brighter. I shut my eyes and felt a force like a nuclear explosion blister my skin and crack my lips. It was silent for a long time. _

_ When I opened my eyes, I saw Luke sprawled at the hearth. On the floor around him was a blackened circle of ash. Kronos's scythe had liquefied into molten metal and was trickling into the coals of the hearth, which now glowed like a blacksmith's furnace. Luke's left side was bloody. His eyes were open-blue eyes, the way they used to be. His breath was a deep rattle. _

_ “Good . . . blade,” he croaked. I knelt next to him. Annabeth limped over with Grover's support. They both had tears in their eyes. _

_ Luke gazed at Annabeth. “You knew. I almost killed you, but you knew . . .” _

_ “Shhh.” Her voice trembled. “You were a hero at the end, Luke. You'll go to Elysium.” _

_ He shook his head weakly. “Think . . . rebirth. Try for three times. Isles of the Blest.” _

_ Annabeth sniffled. “You always pushed yourself too hard.” He held up his charred hand. Annabeth touched his fingertips. _

_ “Did you . . .” Luke coughed and his lips glistened red. “Did you love me?” _

_ Annabeth wiped her tears away. “There was a time I thought . . . well, I thought . . .” She looked at me, like she was trying to gauge my reaction _

_ “You were like a brother to me, Luke,” she said softly. “I loved you, but I knew that… that it wouldn’t-.” He nodded, as if he'd expected it. He winced in pain. _

_ “We can get ambrosia,” Grover said. “We can-” _

_ “Grover,” Luke gulped. “You're the bravest satyr I ever knew. But no. There's no healing. . . .” _

_ Another cough. _

_ He gripped my sleeve, and I could feel the heat of his skin like a fire. “Ethan. Me. All the unclaimed. Don't let it . . . Don't let it happen again.” His eyes were angry, but pleading too. _

_ “I won't,” I said. “I promise.” Luke nodded, and his hand went slack. _

_ The gods arrived a few minutes later in their full war regalia, thundering into the throne room and expecting a battle. What they found were Annabeth, Grover, and me standing over the body of a broken half-blood, in the dim warm light of the hearth. _

_ “Percy,” my father called, awe in his voice. “What . . . what is this?” _

_ I turned and faced the Olympians. “We need a shroud,” I announced, my voice cracking. “A shroud for the son of Hermes.” _

  
  


The gods seemed almost too shocked to respond. Percy wiped his eyes and turned away from Luke’s body. He looked at Annabeth, and they locked eyes. “I’m so sorry,” Percy whispered. Annabeth just shook her head, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Percy bit his lip and looked away, “I need-” his voice cracked, “I need to check on my mom, and Paul. I want to be here for you-”

Annabeth shook her head, “Go. It’s your mom, I understand. Percy...” Percy looked back up at her, “You- I never told you, and I realized I could have missed my chance… I kept calling you names because we weren’t supposed to get along,” she shot a glance towards her mother and Poseidon, both of whom had the decency to look embarrassed, “I didn’t want to admit it. That we could- that we could be friends. I just want you to know that you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. That’s why I took that blade for you, I couldn’t let you die without- without knowing that.”

Percy’s throat closed up and for a moment he couldn’t speak. He managed to swallow, “I feel the same way. I may not be able to do so very easily right now, but I would die for you.” He looked dead into Annabeth’s eyes, “You know my fatal flaw. I would die a thousand times to save you. I would voluntarily jump into Tartarus if it meant I could save you. I would do it to save any of my friends. I swear it on the Styx.” Percy had no idea the impact such a vow would end up having on him.

Annabeth gave him a small smile, “Well maybe don’t go that extreme. Go find your mom, Percy. She’s going to be worried if she wakes up and doesn’t know where you are.”

Percy gave her a firm nod. He glanced back at the gathered gods, who were, for some reason, giving the two of them some space, and marched over to the elevator without another word. The ride down was agonizing, and Percy had to stop himself from cursing Apollo for the gods-awful music. The door finally opened, and Percy immediately started running, hell bent on finding the car that held his parents.

As he ran, he ignored the people and creatures calling to him, asking him what had happened, if they had won. Percy felt guilty for ignoring them, but he knew that they would all find out soon enough. He needed to know his mother was okay. He needed to know she was alive.

Percy didn’t stop sprinting until he reached the street he had first discovered his parents on. He slowed to a jog as he passed the cars, searching for the one that held the one person who mattered the most to him in his life. All around him was still, silent. All Percy could hear was the sound of his feet hitting the pavement, his heavy breathing.

Percy’s heart leaped to his throat as he spotted the car. He picked up the pace again, and nearly ripped the door off its hinges as he arrived, “”Mom-!”

Percy froze. Ice crept along his body,  _ No no no! She can’t- _

Percy stumbled backwards, clutching his chest as though that would somehow protect him. Luke’s old sword, Backbiter, was sticking from his mother's chest, and Paul had an obvious sword wound in the same place.

Percy sank to the ground, his vision blurring and his body going numb,  _ He killed her! Kronos killed her… why-? Why? If we had lost, I wouldn’t have even known… Was it just spite? _

Percy sat there for two hours, staring blankly at his mother's corpse. He didn’t hear Annabeth calling his name until her hand touched his shoulder and he looked at her blankly, “Percy? What’s- Oh… Oh my gods...”

Percy felt his emotions hit him in a sudden rush and tears sprung to his eyes. “He killed her. He killed them.” His voice sounded hollow, even to him.

Annabeth knelt on the ground next to him, and Percy found himself suddenly enveloped in a hug, “I’m so sorry, Percy. I can’t- I can’t even imagine-”

“I want to make her a shroud,” Percy interrupted. “She was more of a hero than I ever could be. She deserves one-” Percy choked back a sob, “She deserves for the world to remember her...”

Annabeth didn’t respond, only hugging him tighter. Neither of them moved until Chiron found them, his side bandaged up. He gently guided them both back to the throne room of the gods. Percy turned down immortality, unable to bear the thought that he would never see his mother again. He forced Hades to swear on the Styx that his mother would make Elysium, to which Hades grumbled, but agreed.

The gods woke the mortals, and Percy’s heart ached that his mother would never wake up again. They made their way back to camp, and began the shrouds. So many dead. So many to remember.

Percy made his moms shroud. Annabeth offered to help, but he turned her down. His sloppily painted, deep blue shroud made him feel both sad and wistful. He knew his mother deserved a better shroud, but he also knew that she would have loved the one he made, simply because he was the one who made it. He was unable to take her body with him, as Chiron reminded him the mortals would be suspicious if there was any sort of evidence he was involved in her death. It hurt him, but he left her there.

He had no idea what to do next. He was only barely fifteen, and he had no other family. Would he have to stay at camp full time? But what about when he was older, what would he do then?

He ended up staying at the camp for two weeks, before Chiron informed him that some of Sally’s friends were holding a funeral for her. Percy didn’t want to leave camp, afraid he would draw even more monsters now that he had ‘defeated’ Kronos, but he knew he couldn’t miss her funeral.

“I can go with you, Percy. She was like- she was so accepting to all of us. We want to be there for you, and for her,” Annabeth pleaded, but Percy had already made his decision.

“I- I have to do it alone. I know,” his eyes watered, “I know she would have been happy to have you there, but I- I just can’t.”

His friends watched him leave with sad eyes. Percy sat in the passenger seat in complete silence as Argus drove him back into the city, then back out of it, to a small church where the funeral was being held. Percy almost laughed at the irony.

He thanked Argus quietly, and told him that he would find his own way back. Argus gave him a sad look, and drove away. Percy turned to the church and tugged gently on the sleeve of the tux he had borrowed from one of the older campers. He felt odd, out of place - he didn’t even know what his mother's friends looked like, he only knew them by name.

Percy swallowed the forming lump in his throat and opened the door. He glanced around at the people gathered cautiously, hoping none of them noticed him. Unfortunately, the room went silent the second he stepped in. The door closed with an ominous thud, and Percy flinched away from the eyes that were on him.

People turned to each other and began to whisper. Percy only caught a few words, but he caught enough to know they were talking about him.

“-has he been?”

“-her son-”

“Has he no shame?”

“-poor boy-”

Percy set his shoulders and ignored them all. He walked through the crowd that had gathered around him, towards the front of the church where he could barely see the casket that he assumed contained the body of his mother. He stopped beside the casket and set a hand gently on top.

He smiled shakily, “Hey, mom.” He struggled to hold his tears back, “We won.” His voice broke. “Luke- he wasn’t a bad guy in the end... I wish- I wish you were here to celebrate. We were supposed to be able to- to live our lives. Without interference.”

Percy closed his eyes for a minute and dug a drachma out of his pocket. He clenched it tightly in his hand, and wondered how he could place it under her tongue without anyone seeing. Eyes still closed, he sent a silent prayer to his father.  _ Please, dad. I know you still love her, but even if you didn’t, she deserves passage. Can you- _

Percy didn’t even finish the prayer. He felt the coin dissolve from his hand, and he opened his eyes.  _ Thank you. _

A hand touched his shoulder and Percy whipped around, hand going to his pocket before he realized it was just a mortal… in a suit?

Percy glanced around and saw that no one else was so nicely dressed. He tilted his head curiously and asked, “Yes?” his voice shook slightly, as he still hadn’t fully reeled in his emotions.

“Perseus Jackson?” The man asked. Percy felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he glanced to the woman standing next to him. Feeling on edge, he snapped slightly, “What? Who are you?”

The man didn’t seem offended by his tone. He offered Percy a small smile and said, “We’re from social services. We’ve been looking for you ever since Sally died, but no one could find any trace if you. We were hoping you would show up here.”

Percy didn’t let his guard down, “Why were you looking for me?”

The woman stepped forward, “Seeing as you are underage, you will need to be placed into foster care until we can locate your closest living relative, or until you are adopted.”

Percy scoffed. There was no way he’d be going into foster care, “I have someone who’s looking after me,” he said, thinking of Chiron.

They both raised their eyebrows, “Really, who?”

Percy realized he didn’t have a realistic answer for them. He only knew Chiron’s alias of ‘Mr. Brunner’, but he didn’t know if Chiron even had a fake first name. He figured he shouldn’t make one up, since these people were part of the government and would be able to find out easily that he was lying. Percy frowned and scrambled for an answer, “Well- um, he’s the director of this summer camp that I go to, and we- well I don’t- we always call him Mr. Brunner, and-”

Neither of them seemed to believe him, “Well, we’ll let you use a phone when we get back to social services so you can call him, but unfortunately, we are going to have to bring you with us until we have legal proof that you have a guardian.”

Percy grit his teeth, but couldn’t find any way out of the situation. He knew he wouldn’t be able to call Chiron, but he could probably Iris message him… If he could find a drachma somewhere. Percy sighed and gave the two people a small glare, “Fine. You won’t find any relatives, by the way. My mom was adopted, and an only child, and I don’t know who my dad is. He died before I was born.”

The two gave him pitying looks, which Percy ignored. He took a moment to whisper another prayer to Hades - he decided to be nice and ask instead of demand - asking him to grant her safe passage to the Underworld. The two let him have his moment, then asked if he needed anything before they brought him to social services.

Percy shakily asked if they would let him stop by his mother's apartment. They drove him there, and the woman warned him that it was going to be completely cleaned out within the week, so he should take anything that had sentimental value.

Percy only grabbed two things, aside from his clothes and his stash of ambrosia and nectar. He grabbed both of the photo albums, one from before he knew he was a demigod, and one his mom had recently made. He also grabbed Sally’s favorite bracelet, the one Percy had made for her when he was seven.

Feeling like he was choking, Percy stuffed the bracelet in his pocket and let the two social workers take him away. On the drive to wherever he was going, Percy began to wonder if it was really such a bad thing that this was happening to him. Yes, all of his friends - his new family - were at camp, but Percy wasn’t sure he wanted to live at camp year-round. He wanted some part of his life that wasn’t tainted by the gods, where he could pretend that he was normal, that he was mortal.

***

Percy spent three days living in what was practically an orphanage. He had managed to Iris Message Chiron and told him what was happening. Chiron offered to help him, but Percy turned him down. He wanted to see where this led.

He ignored all of the other kids during the days he spent there. They seemed nice enough, but Percy really didn’t feel like talking to anyone; he hadn’t even bothered to learn his roommates' names until the second day. He also didn’t want them to be hurt in case a monster attacked him, so he spent most of his time alone. Curiously, not a single monster attacked him during those three days, despite the fact he had been staying in a place where technology surrounded him.

It was lunch time when the two social workers who had brought him there suddenly showed up. They whispered with the lady in charge for a few minutes before he was called out. Percy left his food where it was and stood up slowly, very cautiously making his way towards the door and into the hallway.

The man grinned at him as he approached, “We have good news for you, Percy. Great news, even! We found a living relative - a blood brother of your mothers.”

Percy shook his head, letting out a small laugh, “I’m sorry, what? How did you even-?”

The woman smiled at him, “We managed to track down your mothers adoption papers, and we found out her birth father was Howard Stark!”

Percy frowned. Where had he heard that name before? Before he could ask, the man had started talking again, “It turns out, Howard Stark had an affair with another woman while he was married, and he paid the mother to keep it quiet. We have already contacted Tony Stark, who would be her half-brother, and although he was very confused, he agreed to take care of you!”

Percy was confused, not only by the fact that a random stranger would decide to adopt the child of a sister they never knew they had, but by the fact that they were talking about these people like he should know who they are. Again, he was interrupted before he could ask, “He’s on his way here right now! Is twenty minutes enough time to gather your things? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind waiting, but it’s best to be prepared.”

Utterly confused, Percy just nodded mutely and turned to make his way to his room. He stuffed his clothes in his bag, then carefully wrapped the photo albums in a clean shirt and tucking it snugly in the corner of his suitcase, right next to the bracelet. He sat on the floor next to his suitcase for a few minutes, trying to gather his thoughts. He had an uncle? An uncle that wasn’t a god, that - probably - didn’t want to incinerate him?

He heard his full name being called, putting him slightly on edge. He grabbed the suitcase and hesitantly made his way back to the hallway. A man in a suit and sunglasses was standing there, talking to the two social workers. The lady who ran the place had disappeared, probably yelling at some poor kid, if Percy had learned anything in the time he had been there.

Cautiously, Percy approached the man. The three quit talking, and the man - his supposed uncle - turned around. He took off the sunglasses and stared at Percy for a minute before grinning, “Are you Perseus?”

Percy nodded slowly, “I go by Percy.”

The man was obviously trying to contain his excitement, “Of course! My name is Tony, obviously. They said they told you what they told me.”

Percy was again slow to nod, “That apparently, you’re my mother's half brother. Would have been nice to know, oh I don’t know, fifteen years ago? Give or take.” Percy couldn’t stop the snark. He wasn’t sure how he felt about his ‘uncle’. Did his mom know? She couldn't have, right? She would have told him.

Tony was slightly taken aback by the hostility that had leaked into Percy’s voice, “I grew up as an only child, who my parents practically ignored. I never had any reason to think that I had a sister out there, much less a nephew! I wouldn’t have let you grow up without me, had I known. She should have gotten her portion of the Stark enterprise, and it makes me sad that she died without me ever meeting her.”

Percy’s mind clicked when Tony mentioned the word enterprise.  _ That’s right! Stark… that’s a company. Don’t they… don’t they make weapons? _

Percy decided to put that thought aside for the moment. So his uncle was famous. That explains why the other two were looking at him like he was a god. Percy frowned at the floor as he thought this through, and Tony mistook his silence for grief, “I’m sorry, I know she died recently. I shouldn’t have brought it up. How about we head to the tower? I can show you around, and maybe we can get to know each other a little?”

Percy studied him cautiously for a minute, trying to gauge how sincere the offer was. He hesitantly accepted, “...alright… Let’s go, I guess.”

Tony said goodbye to the social workers, who watched him leave, looking starstruck. Percy rolled his eyes at their expressions and followed his uncle out to the street. Immediately, Percy was blinded by a flash of light. Wincing, Percy threw an arm over his eyes and tried to blink away the spots. He spotted more flashes of light through his peripherals. Suddenly he was being pushed forward. He followed where the person guided him, hoping it was Tony and not some sort of monster, and suddenly he was being pushed into a car. He panicked for a moment before Tony said, “Sorry about that. I guess I should have warned you.”

Percy blinked the spots from his eyes and looked in the direction of Tony’s voice, relaxing slightly when he saw they were fine. The car started to move and Percy glanced around, confused.  _ Tony is in the backseat, so who’s driving? Why- oh my gods. He’s one of those rich people. Is this a fricking limousine? _

Percy just nodded slightly in response, trying to take in all the information. He had a rich uncle, who he never knew about, who he’d never met, who was now taking care of him?

The rest of the ride was silent, but Tony immediately began talking as they exited the car, “I have plenty of guest rooms, but I don’t have one particularly prepared for you. Um, just a warning, some of the Avengers do use this as their home.. I just don’t want you to be surprised. I would separate you from them if I could, but the layout of the rooms really doesn’t allow for that.”

Percy nodded, staring up at the tower in wonder. He was going to live here? The second part of what Tony said finally registered in his brain and he turned to Tony, confused, “Who are the avengers?”

Tony’s jaw dropped, “I thought you lived in Manhattan?”

Percy furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to what that would have to do with anything, “I did?”

Tony looked confused now, “Then how do you not know who the avengers are? Do you remember the alien invasion? You know, the giant wormhole in the sky, the weird creatures running around, destroying the city and killing people? The avengers are the ones who stopped them.”

Percy frowned, “When did that happen?” He definitely would have noticed that.

Tony frowned back, “A little over a year ago. Why?”

_ I must have been in the Labyrinth then… No wonder I didn’t hear about that… but why didn’t my mom tell me? _ Percy frowned as he thought about it, but said to Tony, “Oh. I wasn’t in Manhattan then.. I um… I went to Mount St. Helens?”

Tony looked slightly skeptical, “And no one told you what happened when you got back?”

Percy shrugged, “I don’t have very many friends who- um, who didn’t go with me. I guess no one ever mentioned it.”

Tony was stunned. Percy glanced around before asking, “So, um. Not to be pushy, but can we go in?”

Tony shook his head slightly, “I’m sorry, of course. I’ll let you pick a room and get settled. It’s going to be awkward for a while, but I want to get to know you.”

Percy nodded hesitantly,  _ Do you really? Because once you know, you can never un-know. I can’t make you forget it, I can’t make the monsters leave you alone.  _ Suddenly Percy’s throat felt dry,  _ What if they come after him like they came after mom? I don’t know him yet, but I don’t want to lose another family member that way, especially one that I just found out about. He doesn’t deserve that. _

He was led inside and to an elevator, where Tony hit the button for the 43rd floor. Percy felt awkward again as they waited in silence for the elevator to bring them up. As Tony stepped out of the elevator, he turned to Percy to say, “This floor and up require security clearance to access. JARVIS runs facial rec to allow people access, so that way we don’t have to worry about passwords leaking, or badges being stolen.”

Percy frowned, “JARVIS?”

Tony smirked, “My AI. Say hello, JARVIS.”

A robotic voice sounded from nowhere, causing the hairs on the back of Percy’s neck to raise slightly, “Hello, Perseus.”

Tony corrected the AI, “He says he prefers to go by Percy.”

The voice sounded again, “My apologies, Percy.”

Uncomfortable, Percy mumbled, “Uh, it’s no problem.”

Tony started to show Percy his room options, but Percy interrupted, “I don’t care, as long as I’m close to the kitchen.” Percy grinned, “Food,” he said happily.

Tony laughed, “You are definitely my nephew. Alright, follow me then.”

Percy was shocked when he saw his room. It was larger than his mom's apartment and their neighbors on both sides combined. When he saw the king sized bed, Percy grinned and dropped his bag so he could run over to it. He launched himself in the air and landed on the bed with a plop.

Grinning, Percy turned to his uncle, “A king sized bed? Dude, that’s so frickin cool. I get my own king sized bed.”

Tony laughed at him, “Yes, yes you do. You also get your own bathroom, what do you say about that?

Percy’s jaw dropped, “You’re kidding.” Tony grinned and pointed to a door. Percy wasted no time in running over and investigating.

“Dude! A shower?”

Tony laughed as Percy came out of the bathroom, a grin on his face. They watched each other in silence for a moment and Percy’s smile fell quickly. Tony dropped his smile as well and asked quietly, “Do you want some time alone?”

Percy shook his head hesitantly, “I’ve been alone enough the past few days.” He gave Tony a small smile, “I think I’m starting to go a little crazy.”

Tony smiled at him, “So, um, we decided it would be best if I went to get you alone, but my wife is really excited to meet you. Um, I guess, I don’t know. I know you’re probably still really-”

Percy sighed, “Still really what? Sad that my mom died?” His heart clenched, “Not used to the wrench that was thrown into my life? No, I’m not used to it, and I will always be sad about my mom.” Percy grit his teeth, “She was the kindest human to ever exist. My dad once told her he would build her a palace, because she was a goddess among-” Percy cut himself off before he could say mortals. He cleared his throat and tried to blink away the tears.

Tony’s voice was soft, “What was your dad like? Where did he go?”

Percy looked away, feeling guilty about having to lie, “I never met him. He died- well, he was lost at sea before I was born. I don’t even think he knew my mom was pregnant. My mom told me a few things about him, but-” Percy tried to think back to when he did know anything about the godly side of his life, “I think she didn’t want to admit he was dead. I think it hurt her to talk about him… I never pushed.”

Tony was quiet. After a few minutes, Percy pulled himself together and asked, “So did you want me to meet your wife?”

Tony immediately looked excited, “Yes! She’s amazing, she practically runs Stark Industry. JARVIS? Can you let Pepper know that Percy wants to meet her? Oh, wait, I have an idea. JARVIS, can you tell her that we’ll all be having dinner together?” He turned to Percy, “What do you want to eat? We can have anything you want.”

Percy grinned, “Pizza. I almost never get pizza, unless I’m at camp.”

Tony titled his head, “Camp? What sort of camp?”

Percy laughed nervously, “Oh, just a summer camp I go to. I’ve been going since I was 11. My mom wanted me to go...” Percy paused, considering his next words carefully, “She said my dad used to go to it.” He looked at Tony cautiously, “You’ll still let me go, right? It’s really important to me.”

Tony nodded, “Of course. Oh, um, I mean, If your grades are good enough.” Tony tried and failed miserably to look stern. Percy outright laughed at him.

“Yeah… no. You obviously don’t know me. I don’t do ‘school’ well.”

Tony frowned, “What do you mean?”

Percy laughed, “I mean, I’m sure you have access to that sort of information about me. With all your fancy tech, I’m sure you could figure out that information yourself.”

Tony frowned, “Well, maybe I will,” he folded his arms like a child, then dug his sunglasses out of his pocket. He put them on and tapped the sides a few times. Percy stared at him as he seemed to read something that was displayed on the lenses of his glasses, “Okay, well. So you’ve been kicked out of a few schools. And you- wait, what? What the fuck? You got into a gunfight when you were 11? Wait- kidnapper?! And- what in the actual hell?”

Percy winced, “Okay, I really only expected you to look at the school records, but-”

“Hush. I’m reading,” Tony was quiet for a few minutes, occasionally throwing out an expletive or mumbling something under his breath. When he pulled off his glasses he looked about ten years older, “I should have googled you before I agreed to this. What the hell?”

Percy gave him a sheepish smile, “Trouble seems to like me.”

Tony snorted, “It sure does. Out of curiosity, why haven’t you been to a doctor since you were 11?”

Percy was taken aback, “How did you even know about that?”

It was Tony’s turn to give the sheepish smile, “I may or may not have hacked your medical records. In my defense, with a story like that, anyone would have done the same.”

Percy glared at him, “No, they wouldn’t have.”

Tony didn’t seem to be phased by the glare, “Well, either way, it is past time for you to have an appointment. I’ll set one up for you-”

“No,” Percy said firmly. There was a reason Sally had stopped taking him to the doctors. The body of a demigod was different, much different. It held scars no mortal should ever experience, and those tended to give the wrong ideas to mortal doctors.

Tony was taken aback, “No? What do you mean no?”

Percy shook his head slightly, “I mean I won’t be going to a doctor.”

Tony frowned, “Well, but- don’t you care about your health?”

Percy nodded, “I do. But I have my own doctor. At the camp I go to.”

Tony frowned, “I don’t really think they count as doctors. They are probably only trained to deal with scrapes and broken bones. What about long term conditions?”

Percy shook his head, “They are plenty qualified.”

Tony wasn’t buying it, “Sure. Even if they are, it’s probably a good idea to get a second opinion, you know? I can even have Bruce do it- er, Bruce is one of the avengers. He’s got like, PhD’s and stuff.”

Percy snorted, “Wow, PhD’s and stuff. I feel healthier already.”

Tony tried again, “It can’t hurt to have him look you over, can it?”

Percy frowned, “Maybe.” he relented, but he didn’t mean it. Really, he just wanted Tony to stop arguing. “So, dinner?” He asked, trying to change the subject.

It worked like a charm. Tony grinned, “Right, pizza! JARVIS can you order the usual for me and Pepper? And I guess see if Steve or Clint want any. And Ms. Spider if she’s here. What do you want Percy?”

Percy grinned, “Peperoni, extra cheese, and mushrooms.”

Tony nodded, “You heard the boy, JARVIS. One of those too.”

Percy frowned at being called a boy. He had just been through a war. Sure, he was only 15, but he felt like he might as well be 40 for all that he had experienced, and all the people he had lost. Not to mention, how far along in his lifespan he was; he probably wouldn’t make it another five years.

Feeling down from that reminder, Percy sighed heavily. He looked at Tony and quietly asked, “Do you happen to have a pool?”

Tony was clearly confused, but he nodded, “Yeah, two floors up. Why?”

Percy smiled, happier, “I think I’ll go for a swim after dinner.”

Tony still looked confused, but he didn’t push.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in my story I have so far I have one more chapter equaling one more day of Percy and Tony hanging out, then Percy gets kidnapped by Hera. I want Tony to be a very protective uncle, but that he’s still kinda himself.
> 
> I LIKE WRITING BROKEN PEOPLE. I don’t care if I’m bad at it, I like it. I like to torment the characters. I. Am. Sadistic.
> 
> That being said, Percy will be going through Tartarus alone. He will be semi mute afterwards, as well as have some permanent physical damage. I know that Percy is practically friends with everyone in the books, but after Tartarus, no one except Annabeth and Nico are really his friends. They’re afraid of him, they pity him, ect. All that fun stuff. No hate towards them, just love towards Annabeth as a strong friend and Nico whomst I LOVE.
> 
> Right, so anyway, Percy meets Tony, they have two days together, Percy takes about nine months to go through some serious shit and comes back pretty fucked. This story is basically me crappily writing the things I want other people to write. But other people would write it better. I’m too impatient to get to the specific parts I want to write to struggle through the parts I don’t. I’m bad writer. I’m lazy writer. I’m also rambling. My bad.


End file.
